He loves me... He loves me not...

I got on here to tell you everything.
But I don't know what to say.
I really don't have words for this.

Like I said, I almost saw this coming. I should have.
"You're beautiful"
"I miss you."
"I love you."
Do you remember the last time you told me that?
Any of it?

You change the topic. You play it off like I'm joking. You flat out LEAVE.
What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel?
Where do I go from here?
A quiet let down, a few consolations, and a final good-bye.
Will I ever see your face again?
Or is this it?
The end.

I tried. I tried again and again to show you that I can do it. You didn't believe.
You never did.
You told me you did. Said it would be great. Told me it's a way.
It never was.

You've been thinking for a while.
It wasn't about me, was it?
I wasted all this time, thinking about you. Waiting for you.
Praying for you. Praying for this.
THIS.
A joke, right?
I thought this was done.

You love me. You're not in love with me.
I've heard that line so many times.
I thought it was done.

Rememer that bench? Where you scratched our initials with the keys to your car?
I sat there on my lunch break the other day.
I cried because I missed you. Because I loved you.
Because I KNEW you were on the other end of those tears, thinking about me.
I don't want to cry over you anymore.
I thought it was done.

You walk out after I tell you that I'm lost.
That I don't know what to do.
You fucking. walk. out.
So, goodnight?

I guess it's done.